Animal Attacks

25 thoughts on what happens when we attack the animals who attack us

Dan Mathews, PETA vice president, on his conversion to vegetarianism: I look forward to seeing a lion. I've seen more than 30. I don't fear them. To find one, I spend a lot of times in the hills hiking and riding, usually in areas people don't go. Not too long ago, I was riding my mountain bike and found a dead deer by the trail. I had read that lions protect their prey for five days, so two days later, I went back to the kill and stood on an embankment 100 feet above the lions and watched the two babies and the mother. They saw me, but were too busy with the kill. The best chance of seeing a lion is riding down a hill. They'll come out right in front of me. The lion gets really surprised. One night, I was riding my bike to the top of Saddleback to check out the view, and just ahead of me was a lion that went into the heavy brush. I got off my bike and walked over to the edge, but I couldn't see it. I continued on my bike. Moments later, I felt the hairs on my back stand up. I turned to see what was behind me and just saw bright blue eyes glowing in the dark. I knew right away it was a lion because at night their pupils get totally dilated. I usually don't get scared, but that night I did a U-turn and booked down to the bottom of the hill. I never did get to see the view.

Tom Sherman: A study released by a panel of global-warming researchers on Jan. 8 in the science journal Nature concluded that hundreds of species of land plants and animals around the globe could vanish over the next 50 years if industrial nations do not curtail emissions of greenhouse gases trapping heat in the atmosphere. Such a mass extinction of millions of living beings has not been experienced on this planet since the age of the dinosaurs. The study's findings were disputed by critics who said researchers didn't take into account animals' ability to "adapt." Indeed, according to a list of extinct animals on the web encyclopedia Wikipedia, the only North American animals unable to adapt since 1900 were the longjaw cisco, depwater cisco, blackfin cisco, yellowfin cutthroat trout, silver trout, thicktail chub, Pahrangat spinedace, phantom shiner, Bluntnose shiner, Clear Lake splittail, Las Vegas dace, June sucker, Snake River sucker, harelip sucker, Tecopa pupfish, Shoshone pupfish, Raycraft Ranch killifish, Pahrump Ranch killifish, Ash Meadows killifish, whiteline topminnow, Amistad gambusia, blue pike, Utah Lake sculpin, Lake Ontario kiyi, Alvord cutthroat, Maravillas red shiner, Independence Valley tui chub, Banff longnose dace, Grass Valley speckled dace, San Marcos gambusia, Relict leopard frog, golden coqui, web-footed coqui, St. Croix racer, Edgington's lesser titmouse, Heath hen, Laysan rail, Hawaiian brown rail, Wake Island rail, passenger pigeon, Carolina parakeet, Louisiana parakeet, Virgin Islands screech owl, San Clemente Bewick's wren, Lanai thrush, Laysan millerbird, Molokai oo, Hawaii oo, Santa Barbara song sparrow, Texas Henslow's sparrow, Laysan apapane, black mamo, greater amakihi, Lanai creeper, dusky seaside sparrow, Amak song sparrow, Puerto Rican long-nose bat, Puerto Rican long-tongued bat, Penasco chipmunk, Tacoma pocket gopher, Goff's pocket gopher, Sherman's pocket gopher, pallid beach mouse, Chadwick Beach cottonmouth, Louisiana vole, Southern California kit fox, Florida red wolf, Texas red wolf, Kenai Peninsula wolf, Newfoundland wolf, Banks Island wolf, Cascade Mountains wolf, Northern Rocky Mountain wolf, Mongollon Mountains wolf, Texas gray wolf, Great Plains wolf, Southern Rocky Mountains wolf, California grizzly bear, Wisconsin cougar, Caribbean monk seal, Merriam's elk, Queen Charlotte caribou and Badlands bighorn.

Some men hunt for sport,

Others hunt for food

The only thing I'm hunting for

Is an outfit that looks good

See my vest, see my vest,

Made from real gorilla chest

Feel this sweater, there's no better

Than authentic Irish setter

See this hat, 'twas my cat

My evening wear—vampire bat

These white slippers are albino

African endangered rhino

Grizzly bear underwear,

Turtles' necks, I've got my share

Beret of poodle, on my noodle

It shall rest

Try my red robin suit,

It comes one breast or two

See my vest, see my vest,

See my vest

Like my loafers? Former gophers—

It was that or skin my chauffeurs

But a greyhound fur tuxedo

Would be best

So let's prepare these dogs,

Kill two for matching clogs

See my vest, see my vest,

Oh, please, won't you see my vest!

Montgomery Burns, The Simpsons: Even though I knew there had been a shark attack near the hotel, where the 10-mile swim from Lanai to Maui finished, I was more concerned about jellyfish than sharks. In the back of my mind, I kept thinking I didn't have to worry about sharks—the boat providing support for the six-person relay would be a deterrent to any sea creature.Toward the end of my 30-minute leg, I remember noticing my teammates on the boat yelling and waving towels over their heads. I thought, "How cool of them to cheer me on to swim faster." But as I got closer to the boat, I heard them yelling, "Shark!" At that moment, all the television shows I had seen about sharks flashed through my mind. I thought, "Should I stay still or swim?" In an instant, I made the decision to swim as fast as I could for the boat. As I reached the boat and lifted my hands for the ladder, my friends grabbed and pulled me up onto the deck. I never looked back to see the shark, but I could tell how scared my friends were by the expressions on their faces. Their eyes were wide open, and nobody said a word. I didn't really know what was going on until I saw the shark swim by the boat. It was a huge tiger shark, about 15 feet long, which continued to follow the boat. I feel very lucky that at that moment in time, the captain happened to look back and notice the dark shadow following me. I started thinking the shark didn't know I'm a human; he probably thought I was a seal. Being a fireman, I thought that if I had been attacked, I would have bled to death in the middle of the Maui Channel. I still swim in the ocean, but I'm much more careful. I don't swim where there are shark sightings. Rick Reeder, Santa Ana, fire captainEpisode 2 Our intrepid Wildboyz take on the wild kingdom for your amusement. This week, Steve-O and Pontius journey to Alaska, where they swim with bears and feed a hungry wolf from their ass.

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