Grin and Ferret

• "I defend soil" or "I done fields," in honor of the Big A's crack groundskeepers.

• "Infield odes," which feeds into all that lyrical pastoral pastime bullshit.

• "Denied foils," a worthy taunt for visiting teams after the Halos smack 'em.

• "Flies died on," a reference to the snack stand on the third deck that serves gross nachos.

• "Did felonies," a nod to all those major leaguers who've run afoul of the law.

• "I did oneself," a nod to all those major leaguers who love themselves a little too much.

• "I'd do felines," a nod to all those major leaguers who are just plain sick.

• "Defend oil? Si," a bilingual reference to the Bush administration's foreign policy.

• "I'd feed lions," sound advice for Siegfried's mangled partner Roy to follow before he steps onstage again.

• "Lose. Died. Fin," which can remind our World Series champs of two seasons past what the future holds should they return to the days of yearly late-season swoons.