So Joey Bishop Walks Into A Bar . . .

Mr. Gottlieb lights a chocolate menorah, and we celebrate Christmas with the superrich

Fun! But my friend won't let me go knock on their doors to say hey.

And the parade is wonderful, all the joy and beauty one could expect from millionaires decorating their yachts with Christmas-light renditions of several Cats in the Hat and many, many Santas drinking margaritas on desert isles. And people are happy, and they wave from their boats, and I love everyone, even the rich—even though I'm not allowed to go say hi.

The next night, two friends of mine are invited to actually cruise on one of the boats. They report back that a girl onboard actually ladled ranch-dressing dip into her mouth. With a ladle.

That is superfun!

Okay. No, it's not.

Yes. It really is.

Merry, merry Christmas, my dear friends, especially my dear friends who are Luther! Luther, please send more candy. The rest of you may send podiatrists.

« Previous Page