By Gustavo Arellano
By R. Scott Moxley
By Alfonso Delgado
By Courtney Hamilton
By Joel Beers
By Peter Maguire
By Charles Lam
By Charles Lam
FEEL THE LOVE One thing you can say about Huntington Beach's Barbara Coe, chairwoman of the immigrant-bashing California Coalition for Immigration Reform: at least she spreads the hate. Coe normally targets those from south of the U.S. border who settle here, but she casts a wider net in this Nov. 7 e-mail to supporters:
"REMEMBER the MUSLIM bombing of PanAm Flight 103!
"REMEMBER the MUSLIM bombing of the World Trade Center in 1993!
"REMEMBER the MUSLIM bombing of the Marine barracks in Lebanon!
"REMEMBER the MUSLIM bombing of the military barracks in Saudi Arabia!
"REMEMBER the MUSLIM bombing of the American embassies in Africa!
"REMEMBER the MUSLIM bombing of the USS COLE!
"REMEMBER the MUSLIM attack on the Twin Towers on Sept. 11, 2001!
"REMEMBER the AMERICAN lives that were lost in those vicious MUSLIM attacks!
"Now the United States Postal Service REMEMBERS and HONORS the EID MUSLIM holiday season with a commemorative first-class holiday postage stamp.
"REMEMBER to adamantly and vocally BOYCOTT this stamp when purchasing your stamps in the post office. To use this stamp would be a slap in the face to all those AMERICANS who died at the hands of those whom this stamp honors.
"REMEMBER to pass this along to every patriotic AMERICAN you know."
Will do, Babs. Oh, and using your logic, that means we should:
REMEMBER the CHRISTIAN slayings in the name of Christianity over the past 2,000 years.
REMEMBER the CHRISTIAN bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, the only times nuclear bombs have been used in warfare in the history of the world.
REMEMBER the CHRISTIAN-backed coups that toppled democracies the world over.
REMEMBER the CHRISTIANS who bombed Oklahoma City.
REMEMBER the CHRISTIAN efforts of the Reagan and Bush White Houses to arm the very Islamo-fascists now spreading terror throughout the world.
Merry Christmas, Babs.
WATCH FOR FALLING PRICE-CHECKERS Striking supermarket workerswere attacked on Nov. 9 in two apparently unrelated incidents. Normally, we'd argue that even though the brutality occurred at two different locations—Laguna Niguel and Palm Springs—they are related because the victims in both instances were the same: striking supermarket workers. But more was afoot in the Orange County case. Five or six teenswielding baseball bats rushed up to a half-dozen picketers and two security guards outside the Albertson's in the 30000 block of Street of the Golden Lantern. After one striker was punched in the face, a security guard fired a warning shot into the air, and the teens scattered. Deputies later arrested two teens walking near the store, and they allege the same group tried to run over picketers outside the same Albertson's the week before. Say, shouldn't six bat-wielding, face-punching teens be investigated, tried and incarcerated as gang members—and be subjected to the extra time behind bars and prosecution as adults that entails? Because both were under 18, the apprehended teens were not jailed in the gang unit but released to their parents.
IMMINENTLY QUOTABLE "Quagmire Accomplished." Sign hanging from a South County freeway overpass, as reported Nov. 11 on theNobodyDied.comwebsite that Clockwork mentioned on Oct. 10.
"People have got to know whether or not their president is a crook. Well, I am not a crook." Richard Nixon, Nov. 17, 1973.
JOE DIRTBAG Our pal Heather of the Gypsy Denwas standing in a two-deep line at the Chevron mini-mart at Bristol and Baker streets in Costa Mesa on Nov. 12 when the man who'd just purchased soda, chips and sunflower seeds whipped around and turned out to be Evan "Joe Millionaire" Marriott. Trailing behind as Marriott walked out to a cherry pickup occupied by a blonde, Heather waited a beat for him to hold the door open for her, as any gentleman —especially a millionaire—would. But indicative of his phony-millionaire status, Marriott let the door shut in Heather's face, prompting her to remark, "Joe Millionaire? More like Joe No Manners."
CRAZY LIKE A FOX NETWORKWe're watching the Lakers Live pregame show on Fox Sports Netbefore their game against Toronto on Nov. 12 when hosts Bill Macdonaldand Jack Haleystop talking basketball and instead introduce a six-minute trailer for Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World. When that's finally over, Macdonald and Haley spend the next couple of minutes talking about what a great actor Russell Croweis, their love of action movies and how much they really, really want to see Master and Commander. This is corporate synergy at its most loathsome: the flick is being put out by 20th Century Fox, which like Fox Sports Net and so much else that appears Satanic, falls under the umbrella of Rupert Murdoch's News Corp.Things got worse, as the Master and Commanderlogo remained onscreen throughout the game. Color man Stu Lanceeven made a joke of it, noting that many NBA players come from the far side of the world—and he wishes they'd go back, given their ability to bedevil the Lakers. Stu? Meet Barbara Coe!
FUN FACT Even in death, Orange County's favorite transplanted native son helped save Army-hero-who-doesn't-consider-herself-a-hero Jessica Lynch. Iraqi lawyer Mohammed Odeh al-Rahaief (Babs, we'll take a wild stab and guess he's MUSLIM!), who informed the Marines of Lynch's whereabouts, says one reason he turned his back on Iraq was because his hero is John Wayne, who played a Marine in the Green Berets. As reported in a Nov. 12 Wireless Flash news item, al-Rahaief also admired the way American soldiers treated dogs, refusing to shoot—and even feeding—those in attack mode. With Duke and dogs on our side, how could Saddam possibly win?