Best Shopping and Porn

Dunno if it's fair to exactly call Out of Vogue a clothing store because they sell vintage furniture, too—specializing in the Midcentury Modern variety that's selling for enough money now to actually get the name of the genre capitalized here. Think of Eames' molded-plywood chairs, Fiberglas-shell chairs, George Nelson wood benches, blocky '50s sofas, or the myriad knock-offs that weren't too bad either. Along with that, Out of Vogue has your vintage clothing from the '40s to the '70s in spades—and these days, the '70s and '80s stuff is actually hotter than the '40s and '50s togs people were into when vintage clothing was a baby. Either way, it's good news to you. Whether you're after the parachute pants or Lightning Bolt T-shirt you remember from high school or junior high—or enough gabardine shirts and pants to make mobster/ clotheshorse Mickey Cohen roll over in his grave, it's all here for the taking. 109 E. Commonwealth Ave., Fullerton, (714) 879-6647.

BEST PLACE TO GET CAUGHT MAKING OUT

The tunnels in the Pirates of the Caribbean ride sure are long, dark, warm and damp, but there's something in there you need to protect yourself from: infrared cameras. Keep those swords sheathed and those treasures buried—Disney sees all. 1313 S. Harbor Blvd., Anaheim, (714) 781-4565.

BEST GLORYHOLE

Dana Point Marina

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NEW COMMENTS ADDED MAY 2003: "The toilet actually has a nice gloryhole!"

NEW COMMENTS ADDED JUNE 2003: "The gloryhole is great. I had the pleasure of experiencing a huge cock there last week. Except for the occasional troll, this spot is always active."

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EXAMPLE OF HOW YOU MIGHT HAVE ENDED UP

Of all the swapmeets that deserve the name, the Cypress College Swapmeet is the grittiest. This is where you'd end up selling your few remaining belongings if, say, you were trying to kick a drug habit and had to go live with your sister in Fresno. A Greyhound ticket there from Southern California is around $24, and on a decent day selling at Cypress, you could definitely make that. On the flip side, of course, shopping at Cypress means low prices that'll get lower if you haggle, plus a few folks who either don't know what they have or don't care. This is the place where we snagged the remains of a 1960s Monogram Big Drag eighth-scale dragster model that we resold on eBay to some guy in Broken Arrow, Oklahoma, for $250. Our cost was $3. We also saw—but didn't buy—the tragic remains of some '70s kid's motorcross career. He would have been about our age then, say 10 or 11, and his leather pants and jacket were for sale 20 years later, along with a bunch of round-cornered hazy photos of some shaggy blond boy on a bike. It musta been him. It was his life. And it was selling for $35 for the lot. In the college parking lots along Valley View Street at Lakshore Drive, Cypress. Every Sat.-Sun., except major holidays. Best hours (particularly this time of year): 9 a.m.-noon, when it's still cool, but vendors have had time to actually unpack their vans. Admission: free.

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