By On the occasion of our 20th anniversary
By Gustavo Arellano
By R. Scott Moxley
By Alfonso Delgado
By Courtney Hamilton
By Joel Beers
By Peter Maguire
By Charles Lam
Hey, here's a funny one the emcees should try: "Find the shops of the Jews and break all the windows, and in the morning, we will round them up and put them on the trains! Ha, ha, just kidding!" Thank you.
You know what's even more charming than that? How Arnold grabs the breasts of the women and says to them, "Have you ever had a man slide his tongue up your ass?" and all of these things.
No, I'm not bothering to put allegedly.
And you know what's awesome? Both Schwarzenegger and Tom "SeŮor The Devil" McClintock are vowing to get rid of carpool lanes! It's quite amazing how much sway radio hosts John & Ken have. First, they announce their next big putsch is to get rid of carpool lanes, and seconds later, presto! Arnold and McClintock are promising to get rid of carpool lanes! Because nothing says, hey, baby, you're entitled! like a bunch of assholes in Hummers complaining about how unfair it is that only people with two or more people in their car get to carpool. Awesome! I think next we should send some jackhammers to tear up the Santa Ana River Trail. I mean, how is it fair that only people with bikes or horses or feet should get to use it? Am I right, folks? Thank you.
And say! How exciting is it that the woman the nasty British tabs say is the mother of Arnold's love child lives in Brea? It's superexciting! Sadly, we'd need a lot more in the way of corroboration than the word of those nasty British tabs, who, frankly, are preposterous. If only . . .
And if only the alleged love child was black, like Bill Clinton's fake love child. Then maybe the story would have some legs in the right-wing media.
The moral of this little story is that OC chicks are superhot! Even ones from Brea!
Thank you very much!
Go to the Phoenix Club's Oktoberfest at 1340 S. Sanderson Ave., Anaheim, (714) 563-4166. Fri.-Sun. Call for times. Through Oct. 26. $5; kids under 12, free!