The wit and wisdom of Gatemouth Brown

[Long uncomfortable silence follows. More snickering.] God damn it, you're putting me in the middle!

Ahhh, you love it.

Well, B.B. is my friend. His playing is the Delta. T Bone Walker, we wasn't friends, but he was a straight-ahead blues player. So, uhhhhh, let's just say T Bone had a little more knowledge about what he was playing at the time than B.B. did.

Basie or Ellington?

Count Basie. Count Basie was more driving; Duke Ellington was more syrupy. There's a couple tunes that Duke Ellington had that struck me pretty well, but the rest were too syrupy.

Willie or Waylon?

I think I like Willie a little better. He's more of a country boy in what he's doing. They've both got their own ideas. It's just what I prefer listening to.

Bush or Clinton?

You know goddamn well it got to be Bill Clinton, it ain't gonna be no goddamn George Bush! No! Getting all our boys killed. Hell, no!

You think he's a disgrace to the state of Texas?

He's not no goddamn Texan in the first place!

If you could change one thing about America, what would it be?

I'd stop all the killing and give everybody a job so they can work. Those that didn't want to work, I would dig a hole and drive 'em in it. You don't wanna work, you have to bury yourself, that's all.

That'd be quite a campaign platform! Why don't you run for president in the next election?

'Cause I wouldn't have the goddamn job. No, sir, I don't want no parts of politics or religion. I don't like either one of 'em.

Thanks, Gate!


Clarence Gatemouth Brown AND Dan Hicks at the Coach House, 33157 Camino Capistrano, San Juan Capistrano, (949) 496-8930. Tues., 8 p.m. $25.
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