Episode 5

Oh, sure, the best teen soaper evermay not get Newport Beach lifeguard towers right. It may leave "Hermosa" unblurred on background signs. It may thwart a lawsuit from local institution The Crab Cooker by having its fictitious restaurant workers wear black t-shirts with silhouetted crab insignias instead of an actual restaurant name. But name another prime-time program with the cohones to cast cities inhabited by 908,922 potential viewers as trailer trash infested backwaters? For those who aren't keeping score at home, The O.C. has now pee'd on Chino, Riverside, Corona and Long Beach. What you laughing at, Duarte? You could be next, dawg!

While the series' first flirtation with gunplay was memorable, what we'll cherish most about this installment was the plethora of lines--that's right--lines of the week:

"That Abercrombie & Fitch-wearing water polo bitch wouldn't last a minute in Corona."- Donny, teen thug from that Inland Empire burgh's mean streets, on Luke, Newport's rich bad boy.

"No, what was uncalled for was your $500-a-day coke habit during college."- Kirsten, to one of her hot Newport mommy friends in the spa.

"It was just my sophomore year."- that hot mommy's retort.

And what may be our all-time fave:

"It's been a relaxing weekend, ladies. I'm off to fire my cleaning lady. See you at spinning." - a different hot Newport mommy.