They Shouldnt Have Cars

Tracy Morgan lites up the house

Tracy Morgan, one of Saturday Night Live's funniest cast members for seven seasons, calls us one Friday morning.

Tracy Morgan: Yo, yo! What's up? OC Weekly: What's up with you?

Just chilling out. How are you?

Well, not that good really, but I'm okay this morning. How are you?

Great!

What are you doing this morning?

Just finished paying some parking tickets, now I'm on my way back home.

How many?

Two.

How much were they?

$105.

Each?

Yeah.

Oh, my god. Did you park in front of a fire hydrant at a hospital?

No, that's just how much they are. You know, bus stop or something. Cars do that sometimes. They get tickets. It's okay. I can pay them.

Well, you're lucky. Not everybody can!

Then they shouldn't have cars.

[awkward silence]

So I have seven questions for you. They're not very good questions. That's kind of what I do.

Shoot, baby.

Are you down with Irvine?

I'm gonna be in Irvine July 17 through 20. I look forward to it, and it's gonna be fun. Hold on for one minute, okay, baby? [Morgan takes another call but is back quickly.] Hello?

Have you ever been to Irvine?

Nope.

Do you know what it's like? [I'm dying to tell him Dave Chapelle whistles the theme from "The Smurfs" to describe it, but Morgan keeps talking over me.]

It's just like any other place. I'm gonna get to know Irvine, and Irvine's gonna get to know me.

Who are the best people you worked with atSaturday Night Live?

Everyone I worked with is the best. The seventh season I spent with them was great. I don't want to leave anyone out because they were all very important to me.

So you probably don't want to answer my next question, which is "Who were the worst people you worked with?"

Nah. I don't really have anything like that.

You're all positive!

That's the way I gotta stay. No dirt. We just had a good time. Any relationship gets bumpy, but there wasn't too much of that. Everyone there was professional, especially to me.

[I refrain from asking him if he thinks Horatio Saenz is funny. Now it just seems mean.] Oh, are you done onSNL?

Yeah, I'm done. I got a new TV show coming out in the fall on NBC. It's about me and my wife, and my two kids, and I own a garage in the Bronx. It's very funny. Lorne Michaels is executive producing, and we got Carsey/Warner. We've got nine executive producers.

That's a lot of executive producers!

It's because everyone is behind it!

What do you usually eat for breakfast?

Most of the time I don't eat breakfast. I usually have one meal a day, in the evening. A nice hearty meal my wife cooks. Sometimes I have a snack before bed. I'm not a health nut, but I'm getting older.

How old are you?

Thirtysomething.

I've never seen your act—I've only seen you onSaturday Night Live. What kinds of things do you talk about?

Everyday life. The facts of life. You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have the facts of life.

So you don't really talk about politics at all?

No. I'm not politically correct. I think "politically correct" ruined comedy. I use profanity. I talk about sex. I really don't know anybody who's politically correct anyway. I don't care about politics. We didn't talk about it in my house growing up.

Well, I only had one question left, but I don't want to ask you, because it's all negative again. I'm kind of like that sometimes.

I ain't judging you! Shoot, baby.

Okay. What do you hate most?

Oh, that's easy. Racism. It's a disease in this country.

As an upper-class black man, do you still get a lot of that?

I ain't upper class, and yeah, I get it every day. There's prejudice everywhere.

Presidents?

Prejudice. Even in black people. We have got to get over racism in this country.

I try to ask Tracy Morgan if that isn't political (and what political correctness has to do with talking about sex for anyone besides those two crazy feminists who thought all heterosexual sex was rape), but he doesn't hear me. He bids me a good day, and hopes I'll feel better later. He's a swell guy.

Tracy Morgan plays the Irvine Improv, Irvine Spectrum Center, 71 Fortune Dr., Ste. 841, Irvine, (949) 854-5455; www.improv.com. Thurs., July 17-Sun. Thurs., 8:30 p.m.; Fri., 8:30 & 10:30 p.m.; Sat., 7, 9 & 11 p.m.; Sun., 7 p.m. Call for ticket prices.
 
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