Pirates of the Caribbean is big, loud, empty.

The folks at Disney seem particularly protective of this movie, even by their own insanely overprotective standards. The show of security at a recent press screening was among the most absurd yet in the major studios' ongoing anti-piracy circus, rivaled only by preparations for a flight on El Al. On the other hand—evidently terrified, in its terminal PC-ness, of Song of the South– or Charlie Chan–style protests by swashbuckler activist groups—Disney has made sure that Pirates of the Caribbean all but endorses its protagonist's lifestyle, the message being that it's really okay to pirate stuff (except, of course, where Disney products are concerned). But the treasure hunters who do manage to sneak a video camera into a screening of Pirates will emerge gravely disappointed. The booty here is 100 percent fool's gold.

Pirates of the Caribbean was directed by Gore Verbinski; written By Ted Elliot, Terry Rossio and Jay Wolpert, from a story by Stuart Beattie; produced by Jerry Bruckheimer; and stars Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush and Orlando Bloom. Now playing countywide.
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