Illustration by Bob AulAs I drove to work the other day, I couldn't help but notice your dropped white Lincoln Towncar waiting just ahead of me at the stoplight. Sweet decal taking up your whole back window, stating your distaste for love in the most picturesque terms: FUCK LOVE. Nice way to impress the ladies. Someone is definitely bitter. Hey, you, if you think it's smart to showcase your tormented and unrequited love, here's a clue: tear off the Old English lettering and move on. She's for sure dating someone else by now and the sticker only makes you look weak. That's no way to complement the mean moustache and the wife-beater tee.
–Anonymous Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations –changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent–to "Hey, You!" c/o OC Weekly, P.O. Box 10788, Costa Mesa, CA 92627-0247, or e-mail us email@example.com.