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NOTE TO ARTURO MORENO: Congratulations on having a great first week as the new Anaheim Angels owner. And THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for lowering the $8.50 beer price to $6.25. While you're at it, how about raising the beer's actual alcohol content beyond 3.25 percent? Right now I get a better buzz off apple juice. If McDonald's can put actual meat in their hamburgers, surely you can put real beer in our cups. And while we've got your attention, I've got a few more recommendations to make stadium visits more fan-friendly:

*Sell cinnamon rolls on every level. Right now they're sold only at one stand buried somewhere within the stadium I have yet to locate.

*Start selling turkey dogs. They're good and healthy. Stop selling egg rolls at the Chinese place. They're not.

*Stop shooting off fireworks during "The Star Spangled Banner." Even when this country wasn't invading everywhere, it was tacky.

*While you're in center field, will you plant some grass? It looks like Vasquez Rocks out there. Capping that geyser wouldn't hurt.

*But, most importantly, take away that stupid ball Rex Hudler tosses around when he's calling games. Or keep the ball and get rid of Hud. Either way, one's gotta go.

 

more by ANTHONY PIGNATARO

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