Rendered by Verse

Zeke at Alex's Bar, May 30
Noise-rock hurricane
Makes eardrums bleed. "More!" you scream
A good kind of pain

Pearl Jam at Verizon Wireless Amphitheater, June 2-3
"Bush sucks!" cries Eddie
Yet unbeknownst to him, so
Do Eddie's new songs

Good Charlotte/New Found Glory at the UC Irvine Bren Events Center, June 4
Precocious imps blow
Wee boys play punk-rock dress-up
For MTV whores

The Buzzcocks at the House of Blues, June 5
Pete Shelley once tried
To hit on male friend of mine
"Buzzing cock" indeed

Ted Nugent/ZZ Top at the Hyundai Pavilion at Glen Helen, June 7
Sonic mecca for
Inland Empire rednecks
Watch them pee themselves

Halford at the Grove, June 8
Judas Priest front man
Came out queer; '80s teens shocked!
Leather dad icon

Peter Gabriel at Verizon Wireless Amphitheater, June 8
Arty Brit rocker
Touring behind sub-par disc
Disappointment reigns

Hootenanny at Hidden Valley, Irvine, July 5-6
Perchance, how many
Greasers, tats, custom cars, drunks
Must one tolerate?

The Warped Tour at Pomona FairPlex, July 8; and Cal State Long Beach, July 11
Who said punk's not dead?
Here's proof; corporate vultures
Pecking at the bones

Melissa Etheridge at the Pacific Amphitheatre, July 13
Mama granola
Springsteen with a cameltoe
Hot lesbo action!

Fleetwood Mac at the Arrowhead Pond, July 16-17
Classic-rock heroes
Ask you to pay big money
For no C. McVie

The Dixie Chicks at the Arrowhead Pond, July 20-21
Freedom of speech birds
Cluck country/pop much better
Than bad Shania

Devo at the Pacific Amphitheatre, July 22
"Whip It" let us know
Of S&M/B&D
At age 11

Steely Dan at the Pacific Amphitheatre, July 23
Mouths of crowd agape
Not in shock or fright, but yawns
Earth's most-boring band

The Doors 21st Century at the Pacific Amphitheatre, July 25
Faux Doors won't stay dead
Not when there's cash to be made
Ian, you're no Jim

Bob Dylan at the Pacific Amphitheatre, July 27
Scraggly voiced legend
Makes OC stop amid scent
Of greasy fair food

Loretta Lynn at the Crazy Horse Saloon, July 27
Gasp! Shocking, but true!
A real country-music queen
In lame disco hall

Boston at the Pacific Amphitheatre, Aug. 3
Nirvana's "Teen" riff
Was stolen "Feeling" hook. True!
How punk is that? Not.

Loverboy at Fashion Island, Aug. 6
Singer now weighs tons
Do red-leather pants still fit?
Come see him squeeze in

Lollapalooza at the Hyundai Pavilion at Glen Helen, Aug. 16
Audioslave! Jane's!
Incubus! Donnas! Others!
Note: nobody cares

Iron Maiden/Motörhead/Dio at Verizon Wireless Amphitheater, Aug. 24; and Long Beach Arena, Aug. 25
Mullet mania!
Break out the acid-washed jeans!
Metal fuckin' rules!