SATURDAY-SUNDAY, April 5-6: I am presently trying to figure how Weekly contributor Nathan Callahan rates to get on a "traitor list" featuring such luminaries as Michael Moore, Noam Chomsky and Jimmy Carter. The list is at www.probush.com/traitor.htm and defines you as a traitor "if you do not support our president's decisions," so apparently, I grew up with a treasonous dog who went by the alias "Mom" during the Kennedy administration. I called Nathan, and he said he heard about the site, went to it and simply jumped to the bottom of the page where it tells you to "have a traitor added to this page." He typed in his own name and sent them a digital photo, and pretty soon, he was nestled between Mike Farrell and Whoopi Goldberg. Since we are defined by our friends and enemies, I say we all do likewise. I'd be proud to be posted in the same neighborhood as Martin Luther King III and Hillary Rodham Clinton. The list has even given me a new appreciation for the likes of Madonna, who I thought too fluffy for such a list, and Al Gore, who, by my count, is the President of the United States, but then I was never good at the new math.