Ground-Zero Grub

Illustration by Bob AulRemember North Korea? The Hermit Kingdom ruled by a nutcase with a bad fro, a massive porno collection and a penchant for nuclear brinksmanship? Well, while Dubya has been turning Iraq into a parking lot, the North Koreans have been merrily—and openly—converting spent uranium rods into doomsday weaponry. They even have a crude ICBM that could deliver the payload to the West Coast, though it hasn't been tested yet—which means that while aiming at LA, they'll hit Santa Ana. The good news is you may have a few moments to grab some chow before the blast turns you into a freedom fry. So here are five drive-through eateries to check out as you head for the hills. Bon appetit!

•TAQUERÍA DE ANDA, 308 W. Valencia Dr., Fullerton, (714) 871-4211.El burrito de lengua, tongue burrito with all the fixin's ($4). Eat quick—before your own tongue melts in your mouth!

•THE DAILY GRIND DRIVE-THRU ESPRESSO BAR, 3381 Katella Ave., Los Alamitos, (562) 594-8333; 981 Pacific Coast Hwy., Seal Beach, (562) 598-9186; 17220 Pacific Coast Hwy., Sunset Beach, (562) 592-3031; 15388 Golden West St., Westminster, (714) 903-7867; 5590 E. Seventh St., Long Beach, (562) 498-1667. Large mocha latte topped with whipped cream: $3.50. Triberry scone, with blueberries, raspberries and strawberries: $2. Lead-lined space suit in which to enjoy these: priceless.

•VOLCANO BURGER, 3652 Cerritos Ave., Los Alamitos, (562) 430-6004. A "colossal burger," with cheese, hamburger, pastrami, lettuce, tomato and Thousand Island dressing ($3.45). Want molten lava with that? Hey, it's on the way.

•PERRY'S PIZZA, 6501 Edinger Ave., Huntington Beach, (714) 891-1341. With that Taepo Dong 2 missile en route, you can finally enjoy their Lotsa pie guilt-free: 18 inches of mushrooms, meatballs, sausages, bell peppers, onions, pepperoni and black olives ($18.89). Glow-in-the-dark pineapple chunks are extra!

•ANGELO'S, 511 S. State College Blvd., Anaheim, (714) 533-1401. Go for the chicken-strip basket, with ranch or barbecue dressing, small fries and a medium drink for $6.40. If you're lucky, one of those teenybopper carhops or the muscular guy behind the grill will ride shotgun with you as you head for Desolation Row. Later, you can help repopulate Tustin.