By On the occasion of our 20th anniversary
By Gustavo Arellano
By R. Scott Moxley
By Alfonso Delgado
By Courtney Hamilton
By Joel Beers
By Peter Maguire
By Charles Lam
PARTY OUT OF BOUNDS
After being away since, hell, winning the 2000 presidential election, it was nice to see Democrats returning to their role as the opposition party this past weekend. Of course, they had to come to the nation's most Democratic state, California, to pull it off. With the economy in the shitter and the nation all a-jitter, the time was ripe to snipe at the status quo during the state Democratic convention in Sacramento. Those hoping to lead the party into the next tainted presidential election were cheered like rock stars if they openly opposed Dubya's Iraqi quagmire—and likewise jeered if they supported war. It was quite refreshing, especially considering that even all-right-wing, all-the-time Fox News had been begging Democrats to mount some kind of challenge to the other side if for no other reason than great TV. How anemic had them Dems been? As recently as the president's March 8 radio address, the Democratic Party countered with . . . drum roll . . . Gray Davis, whose approval ratings are lower than Bush's—even among California Democrats! What, was Charles Manson busy?
•A man who had slurped raw fish at Sushi Laguna the evening of March 7 suddenly leapt from his seat, darted out the door and ran after a truck towing away his pickup. Laguna Beach Police arrived to find the man arguing with the tow operator, but the matter seemed to be resolved after he paid the driver, got his pickup back and everyone left happy. Uh, not quite: Sushi Laguna called the cops back to say the man never paid his bill.
•A woman walked into a Laguna Beach hospital the afternoon of March 8 to report she had been assaulted by her roommate. Instead of receiving treatment, she was arrested on suspicion of public drunkenness. She'd walked into an animal hospital.
•A man called the Sheriff's Department on March 9 to complain that a woman was screaming outside his San Clemente home. Deputies arrived to discover a dog and a raccoon had fought to the death. Well, one did; the report doesn't say which animal died. Probably the one that screams like a girl. Sissy.COSMIC DEBRIS