FRIDAY, Feb. 21: Paul Goldenberg, King of Big Screen to you, knave, says that though it may take a little business away from him, the Costco deal may be just what La Habra needs. What really concerns him as a businessman is what the Bush administration is—or is not—doing to "get the economy going. It's the administration's policies that concern me more," he says. "And then there's this war we seem destined for." Goldenberg doesn't specify which war: Iraq, North Korea or the Philippines, where, the government announces today, it's sending 3,000 troops.
SATURDAY, Feb. 22: The attorney general's office releases a list of likely terrorist targets. LAX is No. 1. Disneyland comes in at No. 5. Ha! Stupid terrorists. Mike Eisner took care of that job long ago with a poison pill called California Adventure. USA!!
SUNDAY, Feb. 23: Apparently, in the Byzantine world of Filipino politics, it's bad form to allow a foreign power to invade your country. Foreigners. The Philippines sends our troops packing, and now we have 3,000 soldiers looking for a place to invade. Best watch your ass, La Mirada.