Handicapped Parking

Illustration by Bob AulYou in the nifty Porsche Boxster in Laguna Beach on Monday morning! I guess you were having fits of caffeine withdrawal when you rolled up to Diedrich Coffee and parked on the sidewalk. After all, there were no available parking spots, and it would be an absolute crime against humanity to miss your morning latte. I couldn't help but notice the Human Rights Campaign sticker proudly displayed on your bumper. I know it's on your $50,000 automobile to prove your commitment to equality for all. I guess it also confirms your human right to block the pedestrians. Here's some advice: buy an expensive coffeemaker like a Krups (perhaps Porsche sells one in their boutique) and make your own coffee so you won't be bothered by the humans walking around your car.

Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations—changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent—to "Hey, You!" c/oOC Weekly, P.O. Box 10788, Costa Mesa, CA 92627-0247, or e-mail us at letters@ocweekly.com.