The Loco-Motion

On the pot with Mark Farner

Yep. I was on a cordless phone. He says, "I have this new song I want to sing for you." So I'm sitting there taking a shit, and Ted is singing to me.

These are the moments that need to be in the rock & roll history books.

That's right!

If MTV made a series about you instead of Ozzy, what would it be like?

It would be about a laid-back, patriotic dude with his four sons and the dramas they've created for us.

Isn't there some bogus, Farner-less version of Grand Funk touring around these days?

Yeah, the Faux Funk. [Drummer] Don Brewer had two years' of law school, and him and [bassist] Mel Schacher control the trademark. It's them and three other guys. It took three guys to replace me. I never advertise myself as Grand Funk because I ain't. It was the Three Amigos. The corporation may own the Grand Funk trademark, but my contention is that the fans don't come out to see a corporation; they come to see a band, and I wrote and sang 95 percent of that music.

If you could go back and change one thing from your past, what would it be?

I don't think I'd change a thing. I like where I'm at, and it took all that other shit to get me here.

MARK FARNER PERFORMS AT THE COACH HOUSE, 33157 CAMINO CAPISTRANO, SAN JUAN CAPISTRANO, (949) 496-8930. SAT., 8 P.M. $26.50. ALL AGES.

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