Ask Cannibal Corpse!

Questions for the gods of death metal

Cannibal Corpse, those oh-so-wacky, black-clad, hair-tossin' metal icons (with a catalog of bring-'em-home-to-meet-mom songs such as "Fucked With a Knife," "Meat Hook Sodomy" and "Skullful of Maggots") will be playing the Galaxy Concert Theatre on Tuesday. We thought about doing an interview with the band—but why, when we could just let their lyrics provide the answers to what may or may not be actual questions from loyal Weekly readers?

Dear Cannibal Corpse, I hear you guys are originally from Florida. What's a typical visit to Walt Disney World like, for those of us in OC who only know the magic of Disneyland? R.B., Costa Mesa

Dear R.B.,

Prepare to witness a place of gore/Of legal dissection and blood on the floor/Carved up corpses in the corner/Sliced up by a psychotic coroner/Slice, dice, chop them up haphazardly/Like laboratory mice, splatter brain matter/Pound on the skull until it shatters/Hack, slice, chop, carve, rip and tear/Carving out your eyeballs, watch them sit and stare.

Dear Cannibal Corpse, My friends tell me that the song on the It's A Small World ride is a little different in Orlando than it is in Anaheim. How does it go? C.A., Tustin

Dear C.A.,

Slice the throat from ear to ear, gallons of blood do appear/Veins exposed, torn from bodies, the most interesting of hobbies/To get paid for such a task is more than any man could ask/It's a small world after all.

Dear Cannibal Corpse, I see that your new album is calledGore Obsessed. Is this an endorsement of a potential Al Gore White House run in 2004? F.U., Anaheim Hills

Dear F.U.,

I crave Gore, I'll eat your guts/I love Gore, blood drives me nuts/I drink blood, I don't like water/Intestines my cud, I feast in the slaughter.

Dear Cannibal Corpse, What did you think ofAmerican Idol? Think that cutie pie Kelly Clarkson has a chance to make it big in the music biz? I.P., Santa Ana

Dear I.P.,

Beautiful eyes are now vacant pits/Her body contorts, her vagina has fangs/Putrid fluids will mix in her loins/The seed of the undead will grow inside.

Dear Cannibal Corpse, I'm really into this band New Found Glory. The guys are sooo cute, and just about everyone in my sixth-grade class has their latest CD. I'm thinking about buying it, too. What do you think? T.A., Mission Viejo

Dear T.A.,

I cannot scream, my mouth is wired shut/I cannot see, my eyes are filled with blood/I must die while suffering/Pawn of torturous punishment/Losing all reason to live/Cherishing this painful death/To become part of the dead human collection.

Dear Cannibal Corpse, Every time I see a picture of Congressman Dana Rohrabacher, I get this strange, uneasy feeling, like something about him just ain't right. I'm enclosing a photo of him: What do you think? Am I nuts? G.A., Seal Beach

Dear G.A.,

Tentacles extending from the face/Eyes are growing on his hands and back/Spikes and fangs cover his body/Skeleton re-shapes, bones pop and crack/A monstrous thing he has become.

CANNIBAL CORPSE, WITH CEPHALIC CARNAGE, MALEVOLENT CREATION AND DEEDS OF FLESH, AT THE GALAXY CONCERT THEATRE, 3503 S. HARBOR BLVD., SANTA ANA, (714) 957-0600; WWW.GALAXYTHEATRE.COM. TUES., 8 P.M. $17.50. ALL AGES.

 
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