Diary of a Mad County

FRIDAY, Nov. 22 Steven Seagal was behind a threat to a Los Angeles Times reporter who was investigating the action star's ties to organized crime, the Times reports today. Alexander Proctor, the ex-con charged with threatening reporter Anita Buschbefore she recently left the Times, allegedly told an FBI informant that he had been hired to spook the reporter by Anthony Pellicano, the so-called "private detective to the stars" who was in Seagal's employ at the time. Known as much for his tall tales of being a former CIA spook as he is for horrible acting—the continuously played clip of him running like a girl to promote his E! True Hollywood Story is the best thing ever shown on the network—Seagal is currently stinking up cineplexes in Half Past Dead, in which he plays an undercover agent who poses as a convict—and runs like a girl. He denies being part of the threat to Busch, but he talks about life imitating bad art as if he was. Frighteningly, Seagal recently submitted his application to become a reserve deputy with the Orange County Sheriff's Department. Asked the status of his application, a spokesperson curtly told Clockwork: "He is NOT a member of this department." Ten-four!

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