Endorse-O-Matic!

GOVERNOR Sure, Gray Davis isn't perfect (he says so in his commercials), and you may not like him (he says so in his commercials), but do we really want to pull a 2000 presidential and vote Green just to get the Democrats to acknowledge they have a Left? Of course we do. Vote for Peter Camejo!

LIEUTENANT GOVERNORThe symbolism of having a Latino in an office that sounds more important than it is warrants re-electing Cruz Bustamante. ATTORNEY GENERAL So Bill Lockyer finally got off his arse and sent a stinging letter regarding corrupt Orange County District Attorney Tony Rackauckas. Sorry, Billy; too little, too late. As for OC's own Dick Ackerman, the fact that he has collected $130,000 to Lockyer's $8 million tells you all you need to know about what Ackerman's own party thinks of him. Vote for the Libertarian, whoever the hell that is. SECRETARY OF STATE Someone we know just met Kevin Shelley and said he's really cool and that we would like him. Good enough for us. TREASURER Remember back in the olden days, when the Democratic Party fought like hell for increased public investment in schools, housing and transportation. Right now, Phil Angelides is California's biggest—maybe last—booster for doing just that. He's also kicking CEO ass when it comes to myriad corporate scandals. CONTROLLER This is like the governor's race in reverse. Republican Tom McClintock is the career politician. Democrat Steve Westly is the multimillionaire first-time candidate. Westly's war chest is mammoth compared to McClintock's, but the mouthy conservative's biggest financier to date is devil-incarnate billionaire Howard Ahmanson Jr. Go Westly, young man. INSURANCE COMMISSIONER Let ex-commish John Garamendi whip his old office—nearly dismantled by scandal-ridden Republican Chuck Quackenbush—back into shape. SUPERINTENDENT OF PUBLIC INSTRUCTION Anaheim school board member Katherine H. Smith is not qualified for this office. Litter-enforcement officer? Perhaps. Vote for respected legislator and former realteacher Jack O'Connell. MEMBER, STATE BOARD OF EQUALIZATION What the hell? U.S. REPRESENTATIVE, 39TH DISTRICT She hasn't even been elected, and we're already sick of the "Sister Act" stories involving Linda Sanchez and her sibling Loretta Sanchez (see U.S. Representative, 47th District). It'll only get worse after the election. There will be a book and a Baba Wawa interview and a movie-of-the-week and a sitcom and action figures—Latina Legislators with Kung-Fu grip! And yet we're not so sick of it that we'll vote for a Republican. U.S. REPRESENTATIVE, 40TH DISTRICT Ed Royce is a flesh-colored snooze button. No endorsement. U.S. REPRESENTATIVE, 42ND DISTRICT The best thing you can say about Gary Miller is he's not Jay Kim. No endorsement. U.S. REPRESENTATIVE, 44TH DISTRICT Ken Calvert is a scary Republican from Riverside that a portion of South Orange County is about to inherit thanks to redistricting. Democrat Louis Vandenberg is a college administrator who hosts a radio program called Democracy Now. We're suckers for DJs. U.S. REPRESENTATIVE, 46TH DISTRICT Years ago, when Democrats controlled the House, Dana Rohrabacher said he believed in term limits and vowed to step down soon. He's now running for his eighth term. The poor man can't stop himself. For God's sake, help him. Vote for Gerrie Schipske. U.S. REPRESENTATIVE, 47TH DISTRICT We're tempted to pull the lever for Republican Jeff Chavez just to see if he really exists. But we'll probably resist the urge and send Ms. Sanchez back to D.C. U.S. REPRESENTATIVE, 48TH DISTRICT Chris Cox is so evil that he doesn't need to campaign, empty his ample war chest or even return to his district before election day—and he'll still get 90 percent of the vote. Since we never got around to profiling UC Irvine management professor John Graham, we'll endorse him instead. U.S. REPRESENTATIVE, 49TH DISTRICT We're not even sure if Darrell Issa's district still extends into OC, but just in case it does, we're voting for Libertarian Karl Dietrich because his name almost sounds like dearly departed OC coffee baron Karl Ernst Diedrich. STATE SENATE, 34TH DISTRICTReturn Joe Dunn to his upright position. STATE SENATE, 38TH DISTRICTSomeone scrawled the name Philip G. Hanneman, the Democrat who will lose to Bill Morrow, on a piece of scrap paper in the office. That means we were either going to recommend him or investigate the hell out of him. Think positively. STATE ASSEMBLY, 67TH DISTRICT The California League of Conservation Voters, which helped get Republican Tom Harman elected, just put out its 2002 scorecard, and Harman now has one of the worst records when it comes to voting for the environment. Go, Bill Orton! STATE ASSEMBLY, 68TH DISTRICT We just came thisclose to endorsing our first-ever Republican because of incumbent Ken Maddox's leadership to sink the Orange County Sanitation District's sewage-outfall waiver. But then we saw our Libertarian pal Doug Scribner's name on the ballot. Hi, Doug! Vote Scribby. STATE ASSEMBLY, 69TH DISTRICT When there has been a tough vote in the Assembly, Lou Correa has walked out—meaning he didn't vote—ninetimes. What a puss. We're about to make history: vote for Reuben Ross, the REPUBLICAN!!! STATE ASSEMBLY, 70TH DISTRICT You don't think we're so dizzy from that last endorsement that we'll back Republican incumbent John Campbell, do you? Vote for Democrat John Kane. STATE ASSEMBLY, 71ST DISTRICT Dear God, it's about to happen again. Yes, Todd Spitzer is in the GOP, but he deserves this one. STATE ASSEMBLY, 72ND DISTRICT Vote for Democrat G. Nanjundappa—just don't ask us how to spell it. STATE ASSEMBLY, 73RD DISTRICT Republican incumbent Pat Bates is annoying, Democrat Kathleen Calzada is from outside OC (Oceanside). Hold your nose and go with Bob Vondruska, the Libertarian. SUPERIOR COURT JUDGE, OFFICE NO. 21 John Adams is a liar. We like Gay Sandoval. SUPERIOR COURT JUDGE, OFFICE NO. 22 Vote for Kelly Ann MacEachern. Then tell her you know us if you're ever dragged before her. ORANGE COUNTY CLERK/RECORDER When he worked for Disney, Tom Daly's title was Mayor of Anaheim. Bruce Peotter is a nutbar. No endorsement. ORANGE COUNTY PUBLIC ADMINISTRATOR We've never heard of this office, so it can't be dangerous. We hope. If it means he'll step down from the South Orange County Community College District Board of Trustees, vote for John S. Williams.
 
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