Son of Scary

Evil spawn of OCs Scariest People

23. MARY KAY LETOURNEAUDaughter of former ultraconservative, family-values hypocrite OC Congressman John Schmitz just turned 40 in a Washington state prison, where she'll celebrate a few more birthdays for following in her old man's fucksteps. Schmitz's political career was torpedoed when it was revealed he had a child out of wedlock with one of his college students. LeTourneau was a married elementary schoolteacher with four children who had sex—and a couple of children—with one of her students. LeTourneau pleaded guilty to second-degree child rape in 1997 after the first baby was conceived and served six months. After her release on probation, she became pregnant by the teen a second time and drew a seven-and-a-half-year sentence. Mitigating Factors: In 2000, cancer buried John Schmitz's withered putz for good, and the made-for-TV movie The Mary Kay LeTourneau Story: All-American Girlwasn't all that bad.


Son of billionaire developer/Spanish ambassador George Argyros. Junior is best known for impersonating a police officer in Idaho after confronting a motorist he thought was driving too slow, flashing an Orange County Sheriff's Advisory Council medallion and threatening to arrest the man. That stunt got him two and half days in jail, plus a $300 fine. Unfortunately for George Jr., the Southern California Sun, the American Basketball Association franchise that he was part owner of, couldn't get arrested in Anaheim, where, on a good night, they attracted 500 fans into the 8,800-seat Anaheim Convention Center. Mitigating Factor: When George Jr. was included in a Registerpiece about Orange County's most eligible bachelors, he received only a one star rating compared to five for Tiger Woods and two for sixtysomething county supervisor Bill Steiner.


The son of the late, renowned horseman Morton "Cappy" Smith, who once described his 37-year-old son as the type who would rather hang around a pool with a beer than actually work for a living. The younger Smith's mother—Irvine Co. heiress Joan Irvine Smith—is less diplomatic. She became estranged from Junior in the 1990s because of his college girlfriend, Marianne Campbell. As the years went on, Joan cringed whenever Morton showed up to high-society functions with Marianne, whom Joan felt didn't act or dress the part of society wife. The scorn went both ways, with Marianne constantly backstabbing Joan. It all came to a head when Morton broke the news that he would marry the working-class girl in 1994. Joan decreed he was officially cut off from the Irvine Family fortune. He was convicted in 1995 of driving while drunk in Newport Beach. A year later, he was arrested for possessing and being under the influence of cocaine—charges that were dismissed when he agreed to enter a rehab. Mitigating Factor: As Morton himself once put it, he was not raised by parents but boarding schools.


The son/publicity man of pinup icon Jeanne Carmen is a nice enough fella, though his habit of describing his mother—whom he calls Jeanne—and her sexual conquests (Frank Sinatra, Elvis) makes one very uncomfortable . . . though not so uncomfortable we tell him to stop. Mitigating Factor: His mom was—is—supersexyhot.


Daughter-in-law of actor Mickey Rooney and wife of Mickey Rooney Jr. From her father-in-law's Oompa-Loompa-ish vibe and Hollywood rise and fall to her hubby's desperate grab at his daddy's dwindling fame, Laura has witnessed plenty of scary. Then came her 1997 cocaine bust at a Newport Beach trailer park. She claimed the blow was not hers but eventually pleaded guilty. A jury rejected her claim that cops broke her arm while arresting her, and she was forced to cough up $123,792 to cover the city's legal expenses. Mitigating Factor:Laura and Mickey Jr. now live in Riverside County, where they sing gospel tunes and run a nonprofit dedicated to helping the needy.


The son of Bible-thumping, hate-spewing former Congressman William Dannemeyer (R-Fullerton) ran for a Superior Court judge seat last March and has said he shares pretty much the same political philosophy as his nutty father, who was probably the nuttiest of the so-called "dinosaurs" who dominated Orange County politics in the 1970s and '80s. Mitigating Factor: Dinosaur Jr. lost his judicial bid.

Photo by Skip Snead

Hey, who's the little sandy-blond dude doing the kick flips and the ollies and the flapdoodles? That's the 5-year-old, already-sponsored-skater son of Dana Wildes, the assy, sassy Huddle bartendrix who earned herself a berth among OC's hottest bartenders by always being ready with a raunchy quip—though since this is a blurb about her very young son, we will not reprint them here. You're welcome, Dana. Instead, talking about her kindergartner, the proud mom says, "At a very young age, he discovered electrical outlets and the deep end of swimming pools." Over the phone, we hear her say to someone, "Don't run with the scissors. Please!" Good luck. Did she ever tell you about the time he came crashing through the sliding glass doors while playing hockey—naked? "He's hardcore," she tells us. "He's 42 pounds of punk rock." Mitigating Factor: You could totally take him, man.


Son of former Fourth District supervisor and current fat-cat fund-raiser Bill Steiner. Not quite 30, Scotty Boy is a Republican from way back. As a kid, he named his fish after Margaret Thatcher and Nancy Reagan. In college, he carried a picture of the Gipper in his wallet. Today, Scott is a low-ranking OC deputy district attorney who last year lost a ridiculously expensive bid for the Orange City Council. Old Man Steiner—famous for collecting more than $50,000 in campaign contributions after he publicly declared he was retiring from office, then spending a couple of thousand of it on a few lavish meals at Antonello's—passed the hat for Sonny Boy among his old developer cronies. What did the younger in was publicity surrounding his incomprehensible—and illegal—decision to run his campaign out of the DA's office on county time. Mitigating Factor:Currently not running for public office.

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