By On the occasion of our 20th anniversary
By Gustavo Arellano
By R. Scott Moxley
By Alfonso Delgado
By Courtney Hamilton
By Joel Beers
By Peter Maguire
By Charles Lam
Friday, after the old man had hit the Angels game without dutifully bringing me (full disclosure: Republican, campaign, ad nauseam), we headed to Alex's in the LBC. He had never been to the punk rock treasure (great jukebox, stylish dťcor, little kids that make the rest of us feel a thousand years old), and he was embarrassingly excited when Stiff Little Fingers came over the speakers. It took him a moment to realize nobody else was excited because they were all 12 years old, and then he knew what the rest of us have always known: little kids suck all the joy out of a place. We left.
Luckily, Club Broadway, a lesbian bar full of the most-mulleted dykes in history, was ready to rock his world. "I love lesbians!" he told me, after a group of them kept touching him and telling him what good energy he had and being eager to hear about the Angels game in minute detail. "But not in a Penthouse Forum way! Like they're dudes!" While I was out smoking, they all did the Chicken Dance (he denied the Chicken Dance in the morning like Peter denied Christ), and the lesbians two-stepped to everything, including The Clash. Then there was a big chick fight, for reals, but not like in Penthouse Forum. For reals.
WHO'S GOT A MULLET? COMMIEGIRL99@HOTMAIL.COM