By On the occasion of our 20th anniversary
By Gustavo Arellano
By R. Scott Moxley
By Alfonso Delgado
By Courtney Hamilton
By Joel Beers
By Peter Maguire
By Charles Lam
Photo by Jack GouldPresident Bush came to town last week, hoping to accomplish two mutually exclusive goals: raise money for the gubernatorial campaign of Republican Bill Simon and avoid being photographed with the controversial Simon. Outside, about 50 protestors serenaded the attendees. The evening's highlights:
Best hand-drawn sign carried by a teenage punk evoking the spirit of the Situationists and Paris '68: "George Bush: Corporate Whore. Soulless Marionette."
Best chant by a 12-year-old socialist girl over a megaphone: "One, two, three, four/Bush is a corporate whore./Five, six, seven, eight/Enron is his Watergate."
Best group chant directed at already pissed-off Dana Point law enforcement: "Help! Police! He stole the election!"
Best musical accompaniment to above favorite chants: bongo drums.
Best alternative nylon American flag: Adbusters' Old Glory, with regulation stripes and corporate logos for stars.
Best response to the demonstration by a group of tourists going to the St. Regis for cocktails but turned back by pissed-off law enforcement: "We just want drinks, officer."
Best spontaneous group civil disobedience: Lots and lots of parking in no-parking zones—and no tickets.
Best remark by an amused Orange County Register reporter: "There are a lot of incoherent people here."
Best comeback by an amused protester: "More incoherent than Bush foreign policy?"
Best near-death experience: blocked by traffic at the entrance to the St. Regis, a limo-full of attendees in eveningwear exits the vehicle in the middle of the street, nearly getting run over by speeding Mercedes.
Best remark by two 80-year-old lady Democrats dressed like they're in a Dixieland band and turned away from the entrance by really pissed-off law enforcement: "Dictators!"
Best insult directed at the guy who's really running the country: "Cheney is a dick."
Best humorously ironic protester chant: "More golf courses! More SUVs!"
Best humorously ironic and self-deprecating protester chant: "Better chants!"
Best humorously ironic, self-deprecating and better protest chant: "More nature shows!"
Best Libertarian sign: "No war. Free enterprise. Legalize hemp!"
Best insult directed at protesters by a white, male, BMW driver: "This is America!"
Best protester retort: "No, it's Orange County."
Best response to protester "Honk if you're wealthy" chant by self-described presidential employee as she walked across the street into the entrance of the St. Regis to enter losing GOP gubernatorial candidate Bill Simon's South Orange County fund-raiser: "Where did you want us to have it? In a shack in Santa Ana"?