Guttermouth

GUTTERMOUTH
GUSTO
NITRO

First off, I want to make clear that I'm writing this review under protest. I cover corrupt cops, crooked public officials and sleazy elites. Guttermouth is a billion times worse. Their new album, Gusto, lacks originality, honest feeling and intelligence. Basically, it's a cheesy rip-off of the Vandals, who are, of course, a rip-off of the original Vandals. "We weren't into the status quo bullshit that was going on musically," said singer Mark Adkins in his accidentally hilarious press release. "We chose to sing about real stuff." Real stuff such as how the band needs a vacation, how they are unafraid of local law enforcement, how one day "the tables will be turned," how they "never liked high school," and, of course, how they sometimes "pee in the shower." Of course, all of that pales before the shocking revelation that these guys are in their 30s. What a waste. Guttermouth doesn't even deserve this scathing review. The publicity I'm giving them right now will cast a bad light upon all musicians. That is a true tragedy, and I will feel guilty about for it a long time.

Editor's note: We, the staff of theOC Weekly's music section, felt we had to bring in outside help. You see, this CD is a hate crime, and as such, only someone like seasoned investigative reporter Anthony Pignataro could provide an accurate review.