By On the occasion of our 20th anniversary
By Gustavo Arellano
By R. Scott Moxley
By Alfonso Delgado
By Courtney Hamilton
By Joel Beers
By Peter Maguire
By Charles Lam
THURSDAY, Aug. 22 We told you recently about Aliso Viejo-based Fax.comcallously promoting its "proprietary broadcast fax technology"—translation: junk faxes—as a way to save lives in the wake of the Samantha Runnion tragedy (A Clockwork Orange, Aug. 2). Today, a coalition of activists files a $2.2 trillion—that's right, trillion, as in the federal deficit—set of lawsuits alleging that Fax.com's unsolicited faxes are slowing business, fucking up communications and possibly . . . wait for it . . . endangering lives. Boo-yah! Fax.com president Kevin Katz reportedly brands the litigation "unfounded and absurd." In fact, he'd have faxed an angry letter to his congressman about it, but his machine was clogged with junk faxes.
Worker Dionicio Garcia, 21, admits in court that as a joke, he scrawled "antrax"—he meant "anthrax"—on a bucket of rotten beans in the kitchen aboard the Queen Mary in Long Beach last October. He gets 92 days in a non-MDA jail. The judge should have thrown the book at him—as long as that book was a dictionary.
FRIDAY, Aug. 23 It's FRIDAY! FRIDAY!! FRIDAY!!! and promoters of Republican gubernatorial nominee Bill "The Swindler" Simon's brief appearance with George Dubya Bush try desperately to attract more party faithful by slashing ticket prices from the initially announced $1,000 to $250. And if you act now, you get a free pay phone—once owned by a drug dealer! Hurry as supplies will soon be transferred to an evidence locker.
These are among the signs protesters against the wars on Iraq, drugs and civil liberties tried to get somewhere close to Bush as he blazed through Bowers Museum in Santa Ana and the St. Regis Monarch Beach Resort & Spa in Dana Point:
"HAIL TO THE THIEF: YOU ARE NOT MY PRESIDENT."
"SON OF BUSH: LOUSY SEQUEL."
"GULF WAR II: LOUSY SEQUEL."
"GO DIRECTLY TO JAIL. DO NOT PASS THROUGH ORANGE COUNTY, DO NOT COLLECT MONEY."
"U.S. CONSTITUTION: EVER HEARD OF IT?"
"STOP ARRESTING SICK PEOPLE."
"U.S. DRUG POLICY IS UNHEALTHY FOR LIVING THINGS."
"ARREST TERRORISTS, NOT PATIENTS."
"HUNT ANTHRAX, NOT MEDICAL MARIJUANA."
"END PERPETUAL WAR—STOP THE DRUG WAR."
"ALL THESE WARS ADD UP TO WAR ON LIBERTY."