THE BOLIDES PROGRESS THROUGH MUTATION CD-ROM There is no way the Bolides are the nerds they claim to be. We know our nerds—we're fucking rock critics, for God's sake. We are nerds, and we know our nerd rock—from the relatively mild Weezer to the quarantine-or-kill disease that is They Might Be Giants. And so we tell you this: the Bolides—despite the lab-coat shtick that defines this little EP—are way too raw/trashy/cool to make it with the Star-Wars-and-Scrabble crowd. If anything, this is mad-scientist rock: the first two tracks ("Invisible Hands" and "AD(H)D," which fires up with, "My ADD is all right with me!") are helter-skelter guitar garage that's a little too cute to hang out with the Oblivians or the Rip-Offs but not—ulp!—the Hives, but then that mellifluous organ-on-overdrive kicks in on "Physical Examination," and you're right in the middle of a psychotic reaction. Only "The Ballad of Ultraman" flashes the squeaky-clean retro-instro Man or Astro-man? influence you'd think would be all over this. By the time the Bolides smash into super standout track "Lead Vest" ("Anti-depressants don't make her feel very pleasant!"), you'll be flashbacking to every ratty '60s-garage-freakout compilation in your collection—and the even-better live version (at about 17:10 on the generously included video wedged in at the end of this CD-ROM) taps into fuzz-pocalyptic godhead. Shit's so dirty and thick that you'll have to handi-wipe your computer speakers afterward. Beautiful. But nerds? Never.