The Rabbit Killer

Illustration by Bob Aul After swinging it around irreverently by the ears, you dumped your orange-and-white rabbit into the guinea pig and rabbit bin at Midway City Feed on a recent Thursday around noon and exclaimed, "I'm tired of taking care of it." I wondered how you could be tired of something you'd obviously never done. The urine-matted, emaciated little creature you horribly neglected and then abandoned was so malnourished it couldn't move and weighed just 1.8 pounds —less than half of what it should. The object of your cruelty seemed doomed, but for me the worst was yet to come. That same day, a half-hour later, I saw you drag your boyfriend by the wrist into the pet store at Westminster Mall, demand that you wanted a "cute baby bunny," then giggle and say in that same vapid and cheery tone of voice, "Here we go again!" You could afford the trendy knee-length sweater and cute top from Wet Seal and the time to snare your equally trendy boyfriend with the souped-up Honda, but you couldn't afford 69 cents for a pound of rabbit food from the feed store where you abandoned it? Or the time it takes to go to the library or online websites (www.rabbit.org and www.showbunny.com) and get free and easy-to-use information about pet care? Honestly, honey, it's easiest of all to just not buy a rabbit in the first place. Buy a stuffed animal instead; obviously a Tamagotchi would be too much of a commitment for you.

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