Erotica Conventionette

Illustration by Bob AulLet me start by admitting I stumbled a bit with the communications, and a few other ladies gave me a similar song-and-dance, but since you were the only one to mutter obscenities as I walked away, this is reserved just for you. You don't want your picture taken because you don't want to be associated with "the industry"? Honey, you're at the Erotica-LA Convention handing out free passes to a 24/7 porno movie site! Call me an asshole if you want, but you are most definitely a porn whore. And a dumb one at that. If rehearsing that bullshit helps you sleep at night, I've got news for you: every guy who didn't have a camera had a camcorder. Odds are you were photographed, videotaped, posted and whacked-off to before closing—big fuzzy hat and all!

I take great satisfaction knowing my approach had to be, far and away, the most timid and that the very long day was just beginning for you.

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