Erotica Conventionette

Illustration by Bob AulLet me start by admitting I stumbled a bit with the communications, and a few other ladies gave me a similar song-and-dance, but since you were the only one to mutter obscenities as I walked away, this is reserved just for you. You don't want your picture taken because you don't want to be associated with "the industry"? Honey, you're at the Erotica-LA Convention handing out free passes to a 24/7 porno movie site! Call me an asshole if you want, but you are most definitely a porn whore. And a dumb one at that. If rehearsing that bullshit helps you sleep at night, I've got news for you: every guy who didn't have a camera had a camcorder. Odds are you were photographed, videotaped, posted and whacked-off to before closing—big fuzzy hat and all!

I take great satisfaction knowing my approach had to be, far and away, the most timid and that the very long day was just beginning for you.

Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations—changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent—to "Hey, You!" c/o OC Weekly, P.O. Box 10788, Costa Mesa, CA 92627-0247, or e-mail us.

 
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