I am because I'm trying to make it a great show and throw in some fun production stuff.
Costume changes, fun banter.
What's your favorite part of the fair?
The Whipper—isn't it called the Whipper?
Do you like all the cute farm animals?
I love animals. I go to animal rescues, and I hang out with shelter dogs. You just have to take a one-day course, and they teach you a lot about the personality of dogs and how to tell if they're going to fight with another dog or if they're in pain or sick or whatever.
So, Monique, how does someone know if you're about to fight them?
You know, that's a good question. I've been written up twice—I don't even remember what publication it was—
The police blotter?
No, like two LA publications where the same journalist happened to be at the two different places where I got in fights with two girls.
You got in fights with girls?
Like physical fights?
Yeah! And I won both times. It would have been totally humiliating if I hadn't.
Wow, I never knew about your sparring side.
Oh, my God. I'm tough.
Do you condone hair-pulling?
I'm not the hair-pulling type.
Did you know these girls?
No, I didn't know them. Some girl was picking up on my boyfriend one time, and another time a girl just picked a fight with me because she was short and I was in her way or something.
What a bitch.
Oh, yeah. I let her have it. They actually threw her out and let me stay.
Save Ferris performs at the Orange County Fair, 88 Fair Dr., Costa Mesa, (714) 708-FAIR; www.ocfair.com. July 19, 8:30 p.m. $10. All ages.