Motörhead has a kick-ass new album out called Hammered, and it fuckin' rocks, dude! There are all kinds of killer songs about Armageddon and dead soldiers and demons drinking blood and eating some bitch raw and serial killers and stuff like that. Lemmy's voice sounds like a fuckin' chain saw with little chunks of human flesh flying off the whirling blades, and it's so fuckin' loud that fuckin' Satan must be shittin' his fuckin' diapers in hell! Dude, check it out—I actually talked to Lemmy the other day, and this is what he told me:
OC Weekly:If you were Armageddon, who would you spare?Lemmy: Nobody, I don't think. Probably all the girls between 15 and 25. Screw all the others—let them die. Who's your favorite serial killer?
Probably that guy who went all over the place for, like, 16 years and killed a lot of people. Remember him? Something-or-other Hell. They made a movie about him called Confessions of a Serial Killer or something like that.
Nope, don't recall that one. So what's it like to live in a state of dull, frustrated rage?
Well, you should know that. It's dull and frustrating, and it makes you lose your temper. That's it.
How did Motörhead mourn the death of the Queen Mum?
We didn't. She had a good run, you know. She was a great lady. She drank to excess and went to the races all the time.
What would be your solution to the crisis in the Middle East?
Shoot them all and start all over again, I think. I don't know. That's sort of a tough call.
You were born on Christmas Eve. How do you reconcile partying like a fuckpig on your birthday and worshiping the nativity of the baby Jesus?
Well, I don't worship the birth of the baby Jesus, and really, I don't party like a fuckpig either. You tend to stay home when it's both your birthday and Christmas Eve, believe me.
If you could select one rich person to eat, who would it be and how would they be prepared?
Let's see—uh, there's so many of them. [Long, thoughtful pause] Maybe Goldie Hawn. And she shouldn't be cooked. She should be eaten raw, of course.
Who cut the worst fart you ever smelled?
Oh, no, that's a good one. [Long, thoughtful pause] Probably me, I think.
What's your favorite hip-hop song?
I don't have a favorite hip song. I don't like any of them. I'm not a great fan of hip-hop.
What was the greatest rock & roll band of all time?