Baby-Back Ribs

Illustration by Bob AulHey, Dumbshit! Let me set the stage for you: it was a hot February day. You were driving a minivan. Parked outside the library and raced in for a book. Left two kids in the car—a girl, perhaps seven, and an infant in a car seat—and came inside with another. The windows were rolled up. Several people came into the library to alert staff. I wrote down the license number. We made announcements over the PA system. You came minutes later to the counter. We explained the situation. You seemed oblivious to the dangers of leaving kids locked in cars on hot days. We explained it another way. You were still puzzled, but you finally relented. You went outside and came quickly back in—still without your kids. So I went outside to check: kids still in the car, windows rolled down, still alone. Words failed me then, but no more: groceries get better treatment than you gave your roasting kids that day.