Im a Puss

But sos Governor Gray Davis

But it was Congresswoman Maxine Waters—of whom Dick Riordan said with a fair bit of humor two weeks ago that he'd regret giving her a political contribution until the day he died—who thundered everything the Democrats wanted (and didn't want) to hear. She was, simply, glorious.

"Ladies and gentlemen," she shouted in a low-rumbling Voice of God, "we have got to get back to being Democrats again! If people tell you they're running for president or anything else as a centrist, I say you just take your centrist self and go someplace else!" She continued, at length, "Stop running away from labels such as 'progressive' and 'liberal.' You think you gonna get elected acting like a Republican, you crazy! Republicans know a real one when they see it!"

It was her refusal to spin, though, that brought her deafening love. "Enron has corrupted both Republicans and Democrats," she yelled. "If somebody is taking money from corporations that are working against the working people, you need to get rid of 'em no matter who they are!" We think she might have been talking about Davis, but we could be wrong.

But what are our options? Bill Simon pretty much wants more privatized toll roads—even though all that accomplishes is letting the counties and Caltrans pay to build and maintain them while the private companies bag the profits. Dick Riordan changes what he wants depending on which group he's addressing. And Bill Jones? As far as I can tell, he's termed out as secretary of state and just wants a job. Green Party? I'm tired of feeling irrelevant.

Anyway, according to Davis and the boys from U2, it's a Beautiful Day. And throwing the rascals out is about as likely as the reporters asking real questions—or, in my case, any questions at all.

Write your communist, er, columnist at rschoenkopf@ocweekly.com.
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