By Gustavo Arellano
By Aimee Murillo
By Matt Coker
By Vickie Chang
By Matt Coker
By LP Hastings
By Michael Goldstein
By R. Scott Moxley
SATURDAY, Dec. 29: Johnnie Crean, the travel-trailer tycoon, one-time congressional candidate and son of Santa Ana Heights travel-trailer trailblazer turned public-TV cook John Crean, was sued for alleged sexual discrimination and harassment, reports the San Diego Union-Tribune. Also named in the suit was the Carlsbad Army and Navy Academy, whose admissions director Margarite M. Daniel claims the younger Crean—the academy's CEO, chairman of the board and an alumnus—made several sexually explicit remarks to her over seven years. It's not the first time his behavior has been questioned: in 1982, Crean was portrayed as a racist, mud-slinging, spoiled rich kid when he spent roughly $838,000—at that time, more than any candidate in the nation—to win the GOP primary for the congressional seat straddling southern Orange and northern San Diego counties. Fellow Republican Ron Packard, running on a platform that Crean was a political scandal in the making, won the general election as a write-in candidate—only the third time in history that had ever happened.SUNDAY, Dec. 30: Phoung Huu Ly was smoking a cigarette with friends outside the PC Cafe in Garden Grove, waiting for a computer station to open, when he was confronted by two teens, one of whom stuck a screwdriver into the side of his head. The pair then yelled gang names and fled in a green Honda Accord. The 20-year-old Santa Ana resident died eight hours later at UC Irvine Medical Center in Orange. He'd always dreamed of becoming a doctor. In the wake of the slaying, Garden Grove Mayor Bruce Broadwater suggested that cybercafes be regulated. Thanks for sharing. MONDAY, Dec. 31: Republicans unleashed anti-Gray Davis radio ads with characters who sound like Stan Marsh and Eric Cartman of South Park, reports the Sacramento Bee. The GOP assured Comedy Central officials that any likeness to their fictional characters was purely coincidental, but this chronometer believes it's just another example of Republicans robbing Libertarians of their best ideas. Way back in 1998, the Libs produced Davis-skewering cable-TV ads for their gubernatorial candidate Steve Kubby featuring South Park-like animation. Those spots went on to win awards but, sadly, not the governor's mansion.
Before the trial began, novelist Sylvia Fleener settled for an undisclosed sum her lawsuit alleging televangelists Paul and Jan Crouch of Trinity Broadcasting Network in Costa Mesa plagiarized her work for a crappy Christ-o-rama flick. Fleener had claimed parts of her book The Omega Syndrome were lifted for the Crouch's 1999 production The Omega Code. Meanwhile, jury selection has begun in a separate defamation suit filed by God.THURSDAY, Jan. 3: Your favorite timekeeper was inundated with suggestions over what the hell it was obscuring the photo on page A3 in the Dec. 22 Los Angeles Times. Andrea Usiewicz thinks it might be part of a tree trunk. Huntington Beach eco-avenger Joey Racano says it's a cocoon, a spilled root beer float or a piece of Styrofoam. Laguna Beach artist Jorg. R. Dubinjoined Weekly contributor Tom Vasich in being absolutely positive it's a Fritos corn chip. "If it were to be turned around, you would see that the other side would be concave, thus enabling it to receive copious quantities of a variety of dipping products," noted Dubin. But when we turned it over, all we saw was non-dippable newsprint. Robert Stelle's explanation: "It's none other than the unknown [Osama] BIN LADEN! In a pinch (loaf) of a hurry, Mr. Laden pulls his trusty (but smelly) paper Port-A-Pottie out from underneath his dress (sheet), unfolds it, and pulls it over his head, hoping to go unnoticed as he tries to order a falafel at the local McDonald's. Or was it Disneyland?" But Weekly New Orleans correspondent Paul Brennanmaintains "you are seeing what the caption says you are seeing: a member of the Northern Alliance. And we have won not only the heart and mind, but also the scalp of our sturdy ally. Although I don't know the correct name for that bit of tonsorial architecture—high top?—it is obvious he is styling his hair in imitation of rappers of the late '80s/early '90s, particularly Kid of Kid 'N Play (assuming Kid was the one with the high hair). Of course, it is no longer in fashion here, but the Afghans have been busy dying in astounding numbers since 1979, so it is only natural that they are a little behind on fashion. But it is heartening to see that the House Party movies are so popular with the Northern Alliance. Can break dancing in the streets of Kabul not be far behind?"
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