Very Unscary

The spooky lounge, its year-round Christmas decorations temporarily masked, was bursting with forks in brains, hands in jars, and fluttering bats just crying out for Ozzy Osbourne. And who was that inside? Why, it was people! And they were dancing between the tables to Kool & the Gang's "Celebration" (which I thought had been outlawed after Sept. 11, but I'm glad to see I was wrong)! And they were dressed up as scary werewolves and pretty angels and a guy in a milk carton, his face where the "missing" picture would be and his nutritional information promising 100 percent love and tenderness and real cream! Serving size? Look and see! And people were drinking! And talking to one another! Even after you didn't want them to anymore! And there was a fog machine! And people! And drinks!

Thank the good Lord—or Satan—but you can cancel that subscription to Riviera.

Next week: we party hard at the annual physicists convention!