Human Speed Bump

Illustration by Bob AulIt was a strange day in the office. One of our employees got sick, supersick, and the paramedics were called in. So two fire trucks—with lights on and radios squawking—pulled up in front of the building, followed by an ambulance. The paramedics came in, looked her over, and decided to take her to the emergency room. But they were hesitant to move her right away; standing just outside their ambulance, they checked her vitals once more before they left. But the ambulance apparently blocked the egress of your vehicle—a big, new Mercedes-Benz. Apparently unconcerned for anyone else, you climbed out of your car and shouted, "Hey! Can you move the ambulance? I have an important meeting to go to." I'd recommend that you read Dickens' A Christmas Carol—followed by the administration upon your person of a severe ass-whuppin' and an ambulance ride to ER interrupted by a rich asshole with an important meeting to get to.