It Wasnt the Cheese!

Health crisis hits Commie Central

While Bob was at his evil day job with the state Republican Party, I had nothing to do but take Percocets and watch daytime TV. I made copious notes on my deep observations about all the different court shows (on my nine channels—and I don't know how people live like that, without HBO—there was pretty much only Judge Hatchett, and Power of Attorney and Fuck You, It's Mine) and the Hessiansluts on Fox's morning news show. The Friday before, I'd followed a Fox news crew around the MUFON convention at the Hyatt Regency Irvine: I like following "journalists" around and making them feel paranoid. But I never got to write about the crazy UFO peeps at MUFON (and I never even bothered to find out what MUFON stands for) because I was bleeding internally when my deadline hit. I'm sorry. But the crazy UFO peeps were very nice, except for the people with the tables of books detailing the Clintonbody count and the way the Jews are behind everything. You know the type.

Anyway, I'm fine and my ovary's swell, and they're taking the stitches out of my belly button (that's where they put the camera) today, but I didn't do shit this weekend except go on Nexis and copy-and-paste health stats, like these. From the LA Times: the insurance industry has spent more than $100 million to kill patients' rights legislation. And from Newsweek: Cuba's life expectancy is among the highest in the world; malaria, dengue fever, tuberculosis and AIDS are rare; Cuba has more doctors per capita than any other country and more than twice as many per capita as the United States; Cuba has trained medical students from all over Latin America—for free—sending nearly 1,000 to Haiti alone. Aren't those good stats?

So I can't tell you about the Longshoremen's march across the Vincent Thomas Bridge connecting San Pedro and the LBC in honor of what would have been union organizer Harry Bridges' 100th birthday. And I can't tell you about the ultra-groovin' Wiskey Biscuit at Linda's Doll Hut last Tuesday, or the fabulous surprise OC Weekly bash there Sunday night. But I did watch Point Break on HBO. Take that, Fascist Pal!

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