More Les for Me!

"I'm arthritic, and I can't play like I used to," Paul told everyone. "So I decided to be funny instead!" He laid down what was practically vaudevillian patter, in which he flirted, smitten, with his hot Australian bassist; apparently, in Australia, they grow 'em all like Elle MacPherson, but besides that, she could play like fire, and people were quick to point out that it wasn't that she played well for a girl. But between jokes, Paul and his Les Paul Trio performed lush old standards, the same ones he used to play with Mary Ford. During "Making Whoopee," which was sung by his rhythm guitarist, Lou Paul (who looked uncannily like George Deukmejian), Les Paul cracked himself up like Eddie Murphy used to back in the days when Murphy was raw. "I invented the multitrack machine," he crowed, pleased, to the audience. "And I have a guitar named after me. Did ya know that?" He recalled playing Needles, California, to four bartenders and an Indian. He offered the bassist all he had to give: his money. The bassist smiled and smiled—and then, horrifyingly enough, it looked like she was flirting with Eric Sardinas!Take Les Paul's money instead, pretty bassist lady, and make him happy.