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PARROT DROPPINGSBuddy Seigal's preview of Jimmy Buffett's Verizon Wireless Amphitheater shows pissed off so many Parrotheads that we are unable to include all of their wonderful musings on the social-physiological origins of Seigal's critical instincts ("Uncork the Dorks," May 25). We offer this sampling:
Your Jimmy Buffett article writer is the biggest dork of all. His inablility to write without insulting everyone is unbelievable. . . . As a person who never excelled in anything, I can see where Buddy Seigal is coming from. Lashing out at people who are so easy to lash out at is a simple excercise from a simple mind. Uncork the champagne now and celebrate this great man that aims his superior psyche at an overly obvious target. Parrotheads unite and, well, quit reading subquality, substandard dribble from dorks. And, yes I am a greeter at Walmart. So I am a bigger dork than even a music critic. . . . You write that JB has been a pet peeve of yours for 25 years. Have you been writing for 25 years? Or did you put your mind in "asshole" gear 25 years ago and looked for the almighty OCWeekly as your anus? . . . who is this talentless writer? he is horrible! i dont know what it is about music critics and successful bands. we here in chicago are privilaged to read jim derogitis every week. but i must say that his synical banter is shakespeare compared to mr seigal's futile attempt at journalism. . . . To Buddy Seigal: Practice this line: "Would you like to supersize that?" . . . Dont you guys suck for allowing that twit on your staff. . . . I don't know where you get your out of control over the top reporters but who the hell does Buddy Seigel think he is? . . . It is clear that Buddy has got his head up his ass and has no clue what he is remotely talking about. And that in it self is kind of a shame for an out of touch, mud slinging, ball breaker who has nothing better to do then call out all of these differnt musical talents. . . . [T]he most unprofessional article I have ever read. . . . There is an additional component to being a Parrothead that I suspect is beyond Mr. Siegal. Annually, Parrothead clubs at the local and national levels donate tens of thousands of dollars to charities, and dedicate an incalculable amount of their own personal time to volunteer in their communities. We clean roadways, answer phones for public television, assist at Special Olympics events, donate food and clothing to shelters, we provide hands-on care for children and animals in need, we volunteer at battered women's shelter, the list goes on and on. We who call ourselves Parrotheads have created a family without borders. . . . Perhaps not all of your critics are degreed media professionals. I am. It's unfortunate that your "music editor" is unable to offer anything more than insults offered in advance of performances. You could upgrade your publication immediately by losing Mr. Seigal. . . . Has Buddy Seigel ever heard any Jimmy Buffett song besides Margaritaville? Has he ever spoken to a Parrothead or been to a concert? Ever read a press release or (God forbid) read anything Jimmy has written himself? He is a best-selling author, after all. . . . Jimmy's shows are a temporary escape from social rules. They're an opportunity to pretend you're the beach bum you secretly wanted to be when you were growing up (excuse me, gowing older, not up). . . . What a flagrant display of unprofessional jealousy! Mr. Seigal certainly shows everyone that he is a no-talent wonder who will be relegated into obscurity in a few years—while the likes of Jimmy Buffett will be well known, loved and respected as long as planet Earth spins! Seigal so contently sits in his wanna-be position on the OCW and proves that he is just another lost soul in a fez, trying to be collegiate with his use of $3 words and his lack of imagination using the variants of "dork" at least a dozen times in his psuedo-journalistic tirade! If he was half as talented as Jimmy Buffett he might even get a real job on a real paper instead of the no-account rag he writes for in Orange County. . . . Just thinking that Jimmy has fans that will actually follow him all over the world to celebrate the Parrothead syndrome that he single-handedly discovered, re-created and has re-invented over and over again during the 4 decades Jimmy has been making 1st class music. This has got to be killing you!!! . . . You are about to snap my friend! Did your Prozac run out? Therapy cancelled? Get some help! You are seriously disturbed! . . . Jimmy Buffett ranks right up there in the leagues of social commentary entertainers such as Jackson Browne, The Eagles, John Fogerty and Merle Haggard—What have YOU ever said or thought that was worthwhile? Very damn litle obviously!!! . . . Now you'll get plenty of e-mail, won't you? Too bad, you loose! Your selection of vulgar words will be read by young people, also. So now you have not only ruffled a few feathers but contributed to the dumbing of American children. Way to go! Fins Up! . . . fuck you you dorkass parrotheads rule.
BITCH, BITCH, BITCH
I have always thought that Rebecca Schoenkopf was an ignorant bitch. With her eulogy to Linda's Doll Hut, I now know that she is ("Last Call," June 1). Becky, baby, don't try to blame me for the demise of the Doll Hut. I was there the night Alejandro Escovedo played. I was there last month for Thelonious Monster. I was there in July 1999, when Samantha's Favourite from Japan and the Jellybricks from Pennsylvania played. That night, I was the only person there who did not belong to a band that was playing that night. Where the hell were you, Schoenkopf? Probably at some gay-pride dance with your lesbian girlfriends who are just so impressed with the fact that you're a big-time newspaper columnist. Yippee. Schoenkopf, you are just as guilty—if not more so—as you purport me to be. And you are ignorant. Bitch.Glenn M. Langdon