Pushing her halter-top career to the limit, the real Brockovich and her boss, Ed Masry, now have a reality-based courtroom program in development.
The Limp Dick AwardQuills
All promise and no payoff, this lightweight melodramatic look at the Marquis de Sade (history's role model for perversity) has more feigned promiscuity than a No Doubt concert —complete with sexually frustrated priests, clichéd lunatics and necrophilia on the half-shell.
Jan Crouch Lifetime Achievement in Cosmetics Award
Tammy Faye Bakker, the godmother of extreme, born-again makeup, inspired this enchanting RuPaul-narrated documentary. With her thick mascara dissolving in tears beneath an ever-changing pastel wig, Crouch, her glimmer twin, can be seen every night on Orange County's Trinity Broadcasting Network. When they were together at TBN, Bakker taught Crouch everything she knew about overkill. Now, with this award, the legacy runs full circle.
Most Likely to Win an Oscar Because the Academy Has Its Head Up Its Butt AwardGladiator
Though there were dozens of better movies (i.e. Requiem for a Dream, The Ballad of Ramblin' Jack, You Can Count on Me, Aimee and Jaguar, Girl on the Bridge, The Venus Beauty Institute, Ghost Dog, An Affair of Loveand House of Mirth), this WWF version of Roman times will win for its epic scale and self-importance. Why? Because these qualities best represent the Academy.