My friends, along with the immortal Miss Dolly Parton, I wish you joy and happiness, but above all of this, I wish you love. God, WhitneyHouston's version just fuckin' blows, you know? Also, I wish you all the most happy of Christmases and Hanukkahs and Kwanzaas. Hey! When's Ramadan, anyway? Remember! Gifts can be sent care of OCWeekly, P.O. Box 10788, Costa Mesa, CA 92627.