A Thousand Carmen Electras

1. It wasn't me; it was my friend, actually, who wanted to see Shane MacGowan. "I can get us on the list," I told him. I wish I hadn't said that.

2. "Did you say 'don't you know who I am?'" my friend asked me, jokingly, when I told him we'd gotten denied.

"That's the thing," I said, defeated. "She does know who I am."

3. Which, incidentally, she forgot to do. But they still let me in when I gave them my OC Weeklybusiness card, which makes me wonder if that would have worked at the Coach House. . . .

4. I was okay with the Advil and Sudafed being pulled out of my purse and scrutinized, but I was just standing there praying that she didn't find and make a big deal about the motherload of tampons stuffed into my purse because that would be a trifle embarrassing.

5. She didn't refer to them that way, of course.