The Enemies List

Mathematicians and political scientists believe the number could be infinite, but Huntington Beach Mayor Dave Garofalo has apparently whittled down the list of his enemies to a convenient 12. We imagine it looks a little something like this:

1. Susie Newman: first revealed my ties to developers George Argyros and Chris Gibbs through Pacific Liberty Bank. More of a woman than I'll ever have, and more of a man than I'll ever be.

2. Jeff Laird, son of my benefactor, businessman Ed Laird, and also recently installed as president of AQC Corp.: I like to think of Ed as my dad.

3. Ron Davis, columnist for the Huntington Beach Independent: works for a real newspaper.

4. Bob Cronk, longtime Crest View resident who led fight against Wal-Mart project: paid for his own house.

5. Connie Brockway, Huntington Beach city clerk: keeps making those damning public records public.

6. Sandra Cole, leader of my recall effort: leader of my recall effort.

7. George Pearson, gas-station magnate who ended up in the luxury Seacliff home that was grant-deeded to me by developer Chris Gibbs: that bastard has got millions, and all I got off the deal was a lousy buck!

8. Tom Harman, Huntington Beach city councilman just elected to state Assembly: has a political future.

9. Gerald Chapman, planning commissioner appointed by Tom Harman: revealed that I gave list of city employees to the developer who built my house.

10. Dave Sullivan, retiring city councilman: knows how to exit City Hall without kicking

own ass.

11. Natalie Carlson of Century Publishing: built successful business without holding public office.

12. OC Weekly: a worthless yellow slime sheet—except for those sex ads in the back. Awwwww, yeeeaaah!