New York City Serenade

3 a.m. Real New York pizza

The good times are off the scale. We get a cab to a pizza parlor that is packed even at 3 a.m. Ron walks out with a huge drooping box of pizza. We look for a table. Ron says, "Right here"—indicating a traffic-directing rig on a street corner. He hangs his suit jacket on the side of the rig and says, "Dig in." Todd takes a picture. We stand there for a minute in a drunken moment of perfect clarity: "All right, you guys—Times Square."

4 a.m. Times Square

We get out of the cab and stumble around under the lights. Unlike everything else on television, Times Square is bigger in person. We walk past a sword shop; Todd, Ron and Ty start acting like ninjas. With a surprise kung-fu spin kick, Ron proves right there that if the three of them were ninjas, he would be the baddest.

4:45 a.m. We surrender

We run out of red paint and get a cab back to the hotel.

SATURDAY, OCT. 21

11 a.m. Farewell, NYC

A huge brand-new Excursion takes us back to the airport, and we eat shitty airport junk food before boarding our flight.

We can't wait to go back.