4: Porkalicious Achievement in Politics and Media

MOXLEY [shoving Osmond offstage]: Ohhh, mercy!

[SWAIM reappears onstage.]

SWAIM: Thank you, Scott and Anthony. Folks, you'll be seeing the two of them later when we do our all-ice-skating tribute to Eugene V. Debs. But now . . . you know, ladies and gentlemen, Orange County was built on two major truths: 1) people hate LA, and 2) people will go to a theme park no matter how lame it is. As to the latter, we asked Greg Stacy to recollect one such day at one such particularly lame park. Greg?

[The large screen rises again. The audience applaudes as the words "Best Thing Not There Anymore: A film by Greg Stacy" appears.]