Illustration by Bob AulSend anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations—changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent —to "Hey, You!" c/oOC Weekly, P.O. Box 10788, Costa Mesa, CA 92627-0247, or e-mail us at firstname.lastname@example.org.
General note to management at a local downtown bar and grill: your customers are as sick of fights in your establishment as you must be. But guess what? It's your thuggish, ill-trained, hair-trigger-tempered male bartenders who generally cause the problems. (1) It takes forever to get a drink, causing your customers to get pissed; (2) your bartenders regularly serve obviously intoxicated patrons; (3) and when they decide it's time to stop serving, the bartenders prowl the bar, seizing drinks from patrons' hands—drinks that had been sold just minutes before!
Three times in the past month, I've watched patrons get angry at someone on your aggressive, obnoxious bar staff for stealing drinks the patrons had just paid for. The result was always the same: rather than being diplomatic and rational, your bartenders got in the patrons' faces and caused a fracas. Just last Saturday, one such pissy bartender kicked a guy out for daring to question such rudeness, prompting another patron, who wasn't even involved, to punch the poor guy in the face outside the bar—as your bartender stood there and watched.
Here's a prediction: one of these nights, one of your bartenders—hopped up on steroids, meth, alcohol or just general stupidity—is going to grab a drink from the wrong hand at the wrong time, and he's going to be spitting up glass, blood and busted teeth. I won't be there to say I told you so, though. I'm already gone. Your bar sucks because the people you hire are incapable of dealing reasonably with customers and are basically a bunch of dicks. Just add alcohol, and you get yourself instant jerks.