By Gustavo Arellano
By R. Scott Moxley
By Alfonso Delgado
By Courtney Hamilton
By Joel Beers
By Peter Maguire
By Charles Lam
By Charles Lam
Illustration by Bob AulSend anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations—changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent —to "Hey, You!" c/o OC Weekly, P.O. Box 10788, Costa Mesa, CA 92627-0247, or e-mail us at email@example.com.
You and I ran into each other again last month at the baptism of a mutual friend's child, so I sat down at your table during the reception. You and a buddy were already engaged in a discussion about "liberals and environmentalists." You apparently assumed everyone at the table was as conservative as you. I was soon awestruck by the ridiculous assertions spewing out of your mouth: "You know, the ozone hole is actually smaller than it's ever been"; "It's actually bad to recycle anything but glass"; "Actually, those environmental scientists' data is way overblown."
Actually, you have your head way up your ass. But I didn't bother to argue with you; as a teacher at a Christian college, you ought to know better.
You don't. But let's assume you're right—that we really don't pollute as much as some "special-interest-group radicals" say. So? Do you let your children keep their rooms a pigsty because it's a pain to clean them up? Do you let them take a dump in the pool because it's convenient? No. Presumably, you tell your children to leave things the way they found them, to pick up after themselves, and to respect other people's property. Well, Mr. Christian, Earth is God's property, and I don't think he appreciates you or your conservative pals crapping all over it to save yourselves a few bucks. In fact, if you really think about it, your pal Jesus probably loves environmentalists more than anyone else. They seem to be the only people who care about preserving his wondrous creation.