VU All Over Again

Aug. 31. A 42-year-old Anaheim man entered Hoag Hospital for an undisclosed surgical procedure, leaving his $250 Palm Pilot with hospital security. When the man returned to his room following the operation, hospital officials were unable to locate the electronic organizer. The device remains missing. The careful reader(s) of this space—since we've only received one letter, the plural will remain parenthetical—might remember the recent misplacement of a patient's bag (estimated value: $9,560) by Hoag security (Cops, June 30). Tip: next time you go to a hospital for surgery, whether it's an emergency tummy tuck or cosmetic angioplasty, leave your valuables where they belong—at the Weekly.

CAT FIGHT Sept. 14.A 36-year-old Costa Mesa woman reported the theft of 19 cans of tuna from her kitchen cabinet. The victim suspects the culprit is her boyfriend. While purchasing the cans at Albertson's, the couple had gotten into an argument over her refusal to share. According to the victim, her boyfriend demanded half the cans, but she was unwilling to part with them. She suspects he broke into her home several days later and made off with the entire stash of treasured tuna. During the investigation, a neighbor disclosed she observed the boyfriend entering the victim's vacant garage, accompanied by another male. The witness did not see the suspects exit the garage. The victim is seeking full prosecution of the suspects upon apprehension. Needless to say, the couple are no longer an item.

COPYCAT CRIME, NEAR-MISS Sept. 17. A Newport Beach man hopped into his '99 Mercedes SL 500 and backed out of his parking space. As he turned the steering wheel to the right, all four wheels suddenly fell off the car and the vehicle dropped to the pavement, landing on the exposed brake rotors. Apparently, in an aborted attempt to steal the victim's wheels, an unknown thief had loosened four of the five lugnuts from each but was unable—perhaps due to lack of time—to remove them. When the victim began to back up the car, the reverse motion snapped off the remaining lugnuts. This victim was somewhat lucky, however. The same morning, a man arrived at his gray '99 BMW in the lower level of a parking structure to find his $6,500 custom wheels and tires missing entirely and his quadriplegic car resting on four plastic Coca-Cola crates.

PERHAPS HE HAD A LATE-NIGHT DATE WITH A YOGA INSTRUCTOR Sept. 18. While an employee was cleaning the rubberized carpet runners outside a Costa Mesa 7-Eleven, a visibly intoxicated man approached him and asked to purchase a bottle of wine. Since it was 2:15 a.m.—15 minutes past alcohol curfew—the employee explained he unfortunately could not oblige the man's request. Upon hearing the bad news, the boozy suspect stormed into the store and swiped a $10 bottle of Beringer. He then sauntered up to the counter and kicked the cash register. Wine in tow, the subject then exited the store, pausing at the entranceway to grab two carpet runners. The bandit was last seen heading down Irvine Boulevard with a pair of rubber mats and a bottle of red wine. Namaste!

 
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