Dear Mr. Fuentes

April 28, 1999

Tom Fuentes

Tait & Associates

701 N. Park Center Dr.

Santa Ana, CA 92701

Dear Mr. Fuentes,

In January [1999], you were re-elected as chairman of the Orange County Republican Party for the 14th consecutive year.

You're the man in charge!

Which brings me to a small favor I'd like to ask: I'm collecting autographed photographs of famous Orange County celebrities—you know: Richard Nixon, Joey Bishop, John Schmitz, Dennis Rodman, Steve Martin, Diane Keaton, Tommy Lasorda. I'd like to include you in what I call "my own private pantheon."

You might be asking yourself, "Why me? Why Tom Fuentes?"

Don't be so modest. As the local GOP chairman in the 1980s, you were in command when Republicans held every elected office in Orange County. I can't name an organization in the free world with that record of total domination! Of course, these days, we have a few elected Democrats here—Loretta Sanchez-Brixey, Lou "The Puppet" Correa and Joe Dunn. But I'm sure you're working on ways to punch their Democratic lights out in the next election.

You're the toastmaster, the kingmaker, and the boss of one of the biggest and most important Republican counties in the USA.

But enough about you. My name is Nathan Callahan. I've lived in Orange County for 30 years, and I write for the OC Weekly. Don't let that throw you, Mr. Fuentes. The Weekly is more conservative than you might think. Have you read my article "One More Reason to Hate Bill Clinton"? You should. I'm not claiming to have your conservative résumé, but I actually shook hands with Nixon when I was 5 years old. (He looked right at me.) And because my grandfather was secretary of the Reserve Officers Association of America, my family welcomed guests like Strom Thurmond to our Southern California home. Strom used to call me "Little Buddy."